Studies in amicology

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I. Oh, Love! Please teach me about true Friendship. For I have not known it in my life.

II. Oh, Love! Please teach me how True Friendship is like you. And how it is not. For I do not know.

III. Oh, Love! Please teach me how not to be jealous of True Friendship. For she is not your rival.

IV. Oh, Love! Please teach me how to distinguish True Friendship from false. For I have erred.

V. Oh, Love! Please teach me how to forgive a friend. For there is no True Friendship without forgiveness.

VI. Oh, Love! Please teach me about openness and trust. For there is no True Friendship without them.

VII. Oh, Love! Please teach me about concentration and selflessness. For there is no True Friendship without them.

VIII. Oh, Love! Please teach me how to give and accept True Friendship's warmth. For I fear I might burn.

IX. Oh, Love! Please teach me strength and patience I need to defend True Friendship. For many are those who jeer.

X. Oh, Love! Please teach me how to extinguish friendship when it turns toxic. For all things come to an end eventually.

(January 2013)

Studies in hugology

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I. A single hug can save the world. At least the world existing inside each of us. A single hug can be the difference between life and death.

II. If you give hugs, do it selflessly. Do not require reciprocity. Hugging is not giving loans or charity. Hugging is about love.

III. Hugs come in two types: friendly and erotic. Both are about love (see study II). Be careful about which of the two types you give or get.

IV. Virtual hugs are fully equivalent to physical hugs. All three principles apply to both: (a) they can save the world, (b) they should be given selflessly, and (c) you should be careful to distinguish friendly from erotic.

V. Hugging should not be treated lightly. It's about love, but also responsibility. If you're not ready to give love and take responsibility, do not hug!

VI. The salutary effect of your hug is guaranteed, but need not be enormous or immediate. Be humble. Be patient.

VII. Hugs create a strong emotional bond. Through this bond some of the hugged person's pain will rub onto you. If you're not ready to bear this pain, do not hug.

VIII. Physical hugging involves intimate body contact. If you're uncomfortable with this, do not hug.

IX. Everybody has the right to refuse an offered hug without giving reasons. Be ready for the frustration of having your hug rejected. Do not insist.

X. Hugs come in all tastes and flavours (apart from the global dichotomy in study III). It takes skill, time and effort to learn to distinguish those subtleties. It's worth it.

(January 2013)